I just had a milestone birthday. I was dreading it, especially after hearing story after story about the woes of aging. But my attempts to delay, deny and ignore it failed, and in one tiny moment, I went from 49 to 50. Ooof! Thankfully, I received a gift that changed my perspective about turning 50 – I’ll tell you all about it in this post. I’m also sharing 7 (no, I wasn’t even tempted to write 50) thoughts about aging…
1.The Gift – And How To Pick Your Own
I’ve always been one of those card-sending, gift-giving, party-throwing friends. I love decorating, baking, and all things that come with celebrations. I’m quite used to working behind the scenes, while my family and friends enjoy the spotlight. But as I was turning 50, I had this feeling that I needed to step out of my comfort zone and put myself in the spotlight for once.
It actually required my entire family to step out of their comfort zones since they were used to my taking care of all things party-related. But they did it. My husband made dinner. Our daughter made invitations and designed the cake. Our younger son served drinks and food. They did pretty well, don’t you think?!
During one fun evening, when I had the chance to reconnect with friends, my feeling of dread disappeared.
So if you have a birthday coming up, celebrate it! Figure out what you want and need, and see if you can make it happen. Maybe it’s a trip or just a break from work. Perhaps it’s something you’ve been feeling guilty about buying even though you can afford it. Maybe it’s a party to remind you how good it feels to indulge, talk, and laugh with friends.
2.Your Age Is Not Tattooed On Your Forehead (Unless You Want It To Be)
I imagined that turning 50 would require a social media announcement, which would then evoke some sort of negative reaction.
“Hi, my name is Nipa, and I’m 50.” (Pause. Cringe. Worry.)
Perhaps, it’s because age is often a part of your brand in the world of fashion blogging. Sometimes it determines who will follow you and who won’t. Fashion has traditionally celebrated youth and catered to them. It has always been a bit perplexing to me, as I have more time, disposable income, and confidence now than I did when I was younger.
But recently, I’ve connected with many, many stylish women in their forties, fifties, and beyond, and together we’re changing the face of fashion. Although I won’t be tattooing my age on my forehead, I will quite proudly announce that I’m a part of the 50+ club.
For more thoughts on how to create an ideal social media environment for you, I wrote about it in my 5 Ways To Treat Yourself This Valentine’s Day post.
As for my friends in real life? Most of them had no idea that I was turning 50. We talked about kids, hopes, worries, dreams, and rarely about age.
3.Besides, It’s All Relative
Feeling “old” or “young” is all relative. My ophthalmologist pointed that out to me after I blurted out all of my worries about turning 50 and having issues with my vision. He stopped me to say, “Nipa, in my world, you’re like a pre-schooler. You have healthy eyes. Most of my patients are in their 70s and 80s – they’re the ones I worry about.”
Through the eyes of a 25-year-old, 50 may seem old. From the perspective of an 80-year-old, 50 is young. I stopped seeing myself through the eyes of my kids, their friends, my older siblings, and other people in general, and suddenly 50 felt just right.
4.You Are All The Ages
A couple of months ago, I heard an interesting idea in a podcast (sadly, I was driving and couldn’t write down the source). The idea was that we are all the ages we’ve ever been. You may be 40, but that curious 5-year-old and that adventure-loving 22-year-old are still a part of you.
5.But, Now You Have More Resources
Remember your teens and twenties when everything seemed in short supply: money, opportunities, and maybe even friends? If you’re close to my age, you may even remember a time when we didn’t have cell phones or the internet (gasp!) And perhaps in your thirties, you didn’t have much time except to work on your career or to take care of young children.
As we age, we often find more time for ourselves, our passions, and our communities. Technology keeps improving by leaps and bounds, making so many things easier and more fun. We’ve had more time to bond with old friends or make new ones. We have the wisdom of our experiences. Not bad, right?
6.And You Can Take Care Of Yourself
In my thirties, self-care meant a quick pedicure or a kickboxing class while my youngest was in pre-school. These days, self-care may mean those not-so-fun visits to the doctor or ironing out a kink in my neck, but it also feels good to know that I have the time to take care of the important stuff. More sleep, movement, meditation, date nights, and dinners with friends (without needing a babysitter) all feel pretty good.
7.It’s All About Connection
By now, you may have figured out that my secret to feeling positive about aging has to do with connection. My birthday wasn’t really about being in the spotlight, but rather, reconnecting with friends after two years of pandemic living. Deciding whether or not to share my age on social media had a lot to do with connecting with some fabulous midlife influencers. Those doctor’s visits are a good reminder of staying connected with my needs. And finally, this midlife stage means that my connection to my family is less about juggling schedules and taking care of chores, and more about enjoying our interactions.
What are your thoughts about aging?
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